Confused and Evil
by I'veAbandonedControl
Summary: Hephaistion's idea of Alexander as a demon.


**Inspiration: **I have come across a lot of reads, on how ATG was a demon, or possessed by the devil. It was interesting to read but it did something that was unexpected. I started admiring the king more than I already do because of his weaknesses.

**Note:** one reason why I have admired him for so long is because of his ambitious, reckless godlike personality and how his personalities changed and differed in every situation.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Phai or Alex. The world will be too small for them. So everyone better prepare to pack up their belongings and head to Mars, incase I do get ownage.

**Confused and Evil**

_It is weird having feelings toward someone I could hardly touch or get close too anymore. _

So what do I do? I watch and I come to realize. I accepted that he has changed. Perhaps for the good or maybe for the worse? There really is no telling with someone who can be Zues one minute and Hades the next. Little things I can tell you have changed that he isn't even aware of in himself.

_His smile._ It no longer says "I'm happy." Instead it's a grin saying "I will rule this world without help." He is destined to rule the world and destroy it and we know it.

_His body_. Every time he walks, he limps. His body moves like a damaged man suffering the affects of eight wounds and waited just to long to get treated. He is reckless and he denies it. Either way he would never give up.

_His voice_. It is dryer than it used to be. Instead of encouraging his soldiers, he scares them. They don't know him anymore.

_His hair._ It doesn't relate to the sun anymore. It's as if the sun was destroyed and it had no more purpose.

_His eyes_. The two different colors of his eyes were darker. They once read "I am free." Now they read "I am chained in this world like a lion in a cage. I need to get out. I need more."

.

_His blood_. He had no more ambition running through his blood. Instead his blood took the souls of those less worthy and made enemies and allies fear him even more.

_His dreams_. There is a fire inside us all but his dominates most and sets hurricanes to wipe out the other fires left lit. He says "If you put your mind to something you can do anything." That's false. If it were true he would not have turned out this way because I've tried. I have tried hard. He failed to mention it only works for him.

_He is the scariest human on the battlefield._

_He is the most beautiful god on his throne _

_He is the most successful man in my bed. _

_He is the mortal man I loved when he wasn't king. _

My Alexander was glorious. He lighted up the universe when he laughed. He made people smile and encouraged his men to keep moving. Now we come to realize he is his own army. Who am I to say this? I can, because I am his other half. I know.

_My eyes have been alert watching. _

_My lips form a smirk. _

_My hands start shaking and my eyes begin to tear up. _

I am confused. The devil before me confuses me as I see that his weaknesses are just as beautiful as his strengths.

Aggression and domination are eternal for a demon. He sins more times than each man in the army speaks. Before my eyes he takes advantage of women so that he can feel dominant, he is in need of that eunuch every night because even in his mind he knows he can not come back to me. And I am left to be raped. But he does not know he's raping me simply because I don't fight hard enough.

It is the most sadistic situation.

The sound of screams coming from children and women is most terrifying. We stand here and watch as he destroys another world.

I feel bad but I also feel bad for him. Know one knows how he feels. He was absolutely alone in the world since the day he was born. It makes me cry knowing this. It makes me mad that I do not understand him like I used too. I hate that he doesn't realize what he is doing. I want to take the drink Dionysus offers him every night because it controls his judgment. I want him to just stop running towards the edge of the world without me. I said I would be with him forever.

Fire, destruction and chaos fitted his background, his body structure, his attire perfectly, as he stopped and looked towards the stunned soldiers, the unsuccessful companions and then me, dead in the eye. As his loving, caring Phai I normally would have told him that I hate what he is doing. I would have told him to stop taking innocent lives for no reason. But what I and the soldiers all knew and all understood clearly is that he possesses me and that I am more confused than I thought, because I smiled.

_The rumors about him having horns under his mane is for a reason._

_He is evil and he is my demon, that I absolutely love more than anything. _

Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
